So you’ve messed up. Feeling like you really blew your shot.  Enter the shame: every word highlights a weak point you find in yourself, and doesn’t that feel great?  We all have our own relationship with shame, and it’s something we don’t talk about enough.  It’s painful, we hate it, and it’s hard to tolerate. 

Left to your own devices, you can really do a number on yourself.

When you “roast” yourself or criticize yourself, how does that go?

If it changes anything for the better, does that change last?

How does any of this make you feel?  Ready to get back to work?

What if you tried to be different.  Tried to be better to yourself?

As I write this, I think about the adults I had in my childhood.  They’d never destroy me for what didn’t go well.  They’d say things like:

“We all make mistakes.”
“It’s okay, trust me, you’re fine.”
“Don’t cry over spilled milk.” I mean honestly no one ever said that to me, not once.  You’d just hear someone reference it in these situations but not use it outright.

Here’s a new bold strategy I am going to keep practicing:

Acknowledge how I feel.  What’s the mood?
Explain how I got here.  What happened?

The next step.  Where do I go from here with the information I have?

Now let’s see if that pays off…